Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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