the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
