There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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