how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
