Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
