i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
