listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
