this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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