Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
