Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize