It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
