apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
