Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just forgot I was standing up.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
