Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
