my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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