Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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