some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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