I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Randomize
