I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
