Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
