I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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