Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
