Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
