Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
