I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
