so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
