4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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