we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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