Can i not drive my cunt home
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
