just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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