So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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