my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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