on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
