Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
