Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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