im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How naked do you want me to be?
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