another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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