dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
