I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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