Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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