My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
