I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
