You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
