I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
