god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
youre lurking in front of me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
