Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
