: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize