In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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