Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
