Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
