I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
