Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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