sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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