I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize