ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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