just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
