oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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