How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
