Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
