Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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