do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
