dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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