Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.

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(425): So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way. http://tfl.nu/01f8

Replies (22) Good night (741) Bad night (1642)
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(314): View more from Missouri

his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

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(314): his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride? http://tfl.nu/qrch

Replies (118) Good night (1150) Bad night (8582)
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(512): View more from Texas

It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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(512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7

Replies (24) Good night (890) Bad night (6399)
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(360): View more from Washington

Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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(360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby

Replies (32) Good night (1951) Bad night (7710)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.

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(318): I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people. http://tfl.nu/5dbr

Replies (6) Good night (2749) Bad night (1021)
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(708): View more from Illinois

BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK

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(708): BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK http://tfl.nu/o0os

Replies (9) Good night (3050) Bad night (1027)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.

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(262): I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole. http://tfl.nu/sdc1

Replies (9) Good night (1914) Bad night (568)
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(325): View more from Texas

I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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(325): I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible. http://tfl.nu/vgf8

Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (1314)
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(305): View more from Florida

Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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(305): Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/pad6

Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (1061)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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(610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e

Replies (17) Good night (1666) Bad night (481)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.

(770): View more from Georgia

Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.

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(770): Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer. (770): Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand. http://tfl.nu/1fds

Replies (7) Good night (1031) Bad night (497)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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(978): I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite. http://tfl.nu/sc9k

Replies (1) Good night (988) Bad night (357)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT

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(804): Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT http://tfl.nu/kgfg

Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (371)
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(806): View more from Texas

Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.

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(806): Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom. http://tfl.nu/49p8

Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (326)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car

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(703): Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car http://tfl.nu/e3ee

Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (201)

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