i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge