Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man

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  (206): i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man http://tfl.nu/40et
  Replies (15) Good night (1508) Bad night (936)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!

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  (262): Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time! http://tfl.nu/qxxi
  Replies (55) Good night (3909) Bad night (1075)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose

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  (404): look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose http://tfl.nu/df7a
  Replies (11) Good night (4880) Bad night (1088)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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  (609): Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us http://tfl.nu/r5ct
  Replies (19) Good night (5854) Bad night (778)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me

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  (203): dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me http://tfl.nu/k760
  Replies (40) Good night (3359) Bad night (5079)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

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  (315): He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like. http://tfl.nu/nq61
  Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (3115)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him

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  (406): Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him http://tfl.nu/av2i
  Replies (2) Good night (1634) Bad night (588)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar

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  (702): As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar http://tfl.nu/w8o7
  Replies (10) Good night (2906) Bad night (680)
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  (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

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  (323): Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end! http://tfl.nu/gq8b
  Replies (2) Good night (1172) Bad night (741)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous

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  (781): The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous http://tfl.nu/9eck
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (736)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.

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  (914): I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive. http://tfl.nu/7nw5
  Replies (5) Good night (1041) Bad night (412)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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  (973): You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him. http://tfl.nu/xmf9
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (380)
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  (424): View more from California

  Update: I may or may not be in a cult

  (424): View more from California

  Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult

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  (424): Update: I may or may not be in a cult (424): Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult http://tfl.nu/yyf4
  Replies (9) Good night (1664) Bad night (444)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously, fuck work.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car

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  (910): Seriously, fuck work. (1-910): uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car http://tfl.nu/awlj
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (330)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?

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  (404): Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet? http://tfl.nu/rr8x
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (443)

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