Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
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why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..