the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
